A 5 year high school reunion seemed early to me.  I missed my 10th, made it to my 20th and skipped my 30th.  Ben doesn't miss anything.  If he is invited, he goes.  If it sounds like fun, he wants to be there.  His idea of a great evening out is not always the same as mine and we have come to the mutual decision we each have our own time doing our own thing and we find plenty to do together.

A month ago Ben alerted me to his 5 year reunion.  "Okay, if you want to go, we will get you there".  That is usually how it goes.  He will pick out what is important to him and I will make sure it happens.  The reunion was important.  As I often do, I waited to the last minute to put it all together.  I had some options in mind on getting him there but decided I would handle it myself.  Before I finish the story about the night of his reunion, I need to back almost 8 years to set it in motion.

The story really starts on a sunny fall Sturday in September 2005.  Our home is tucked in a neat little cul-de-sac in Old Hickory, TN.  We had been living there for about two years and Ben was beginning his sophomore year at Mt. Juliet High School.   When the doorbell rang I anticipated the typical Saturday solicitor and was ready to open and close it quickly.  On our doorstep was a young lady, around 16 with a gentleman who appeared to be her father.  They quickly introduced themselves; "I'm Hannah Irwin, I live on the corner and this is my dad, I am an aide in Ben's special education class." Hannah lived two houses away with her mother and step father, was an aide in Ben's class, yet I had no idea who she was.  I can't count the times people come up to Ben when we are out and give him hugs.  I have to introduce myself.  I have considered legally changing my name from David Dassau to "Ben's Dad" because that is who I have become, and that is an honor I share with no one.

 I invited them in and called for Ben, looking for him to shed some light on the visit.  Ben rolled into the living room in his wheelchair, looking a little less surprised than I did to have company.  As introductions were completed, I found out Hannah was a sophomore too. Sensing I had no clue as to whether we were going to be asked to buy candy bars or discount cards to support the school, Hannah's father spoke "Hannah has something she would like to ask Ben and we want to make sure it is okay with you."

Hannah took over from there.  She took the conversation away from the four of us, down to her and Ben. "Ben, I've been nominated by our sophomore class to represent our graduating class of 2008 as Homecoming Queen at the game next month".  I knew high school football was a large part of every community in Tennessee.  I knew what a homecoming game was.  I didn't know each of the 4 grades had a nominee.  I didn't know the significance it holds in the life of a student in high school.  I didn't know what this had to do with Ben.

There was no question as to why Hannah would be her class nominee; she was beautiful, worked in the classroom of students with special needs, the starting catcher on the girls softball team and an honor student.  It was easy to see the pride her father had in his daughter as he stood beside her.  I wasn't sure why he accompanied Hannah to visit Ben.  Hannah's father, Doug, is a tall, handsome man with a gentle smile and a mild manner looked comfortable and proud.  He told me how much Hannah had spoken about Ben and was finally happy to meet him.  Hannah had discussed her plans (still unknown to me) with her father and I now understand why he wanted to be there.  This was a special moment between father and daughter, soon to be a special moment for me.  

 "Ben, I need someone to escort me to the game and the ceremonies.  I was wondering if you would be my escort".  Ben smiled, I wasn't convinced he sure what he was being asked.  When this happens and I start explaining something to him, he raises his right arm and holds his hand up like a crossing guard.  "Shut up, I got this' is how that translates.   "I know what is going on, but go ahead, reassure me I have this right".  I did and his smile widened, his head tilted and his eyes answered, "yes, I would love to".

I stood there witnessing something I had never dreamed of, much less thought possible.  I am an overly sentimental mush who can be brought to tears pretty easily.  I've had to hide tears watching Nemo with my daughter.  The tango Al Pacino dances as a blind man, the speech he gives in the auditorium of the boys prep school in Scent of a Woman.  These are the things that touch my heart.  People achieving above and beyond their perceived limitations, people standing next to others when no one else will.  I don't know if Hannah and her father could see my lips starting to quiver or the tears I was trying to inhale through my eyes.  If they did, it was okay with me.  If they didn't, may they know now.

A few brief plans were discussed and they were on their way.  I closed the door and I shared the moment with Ben.  Then I grabbed hold of it and thanked God for something I never saw coming. I took couple of deep breaths and got on the phone with everyone I could, each time I told someone, I got choked up explaining what had just happened.  I still do.

The homecoming ceremonies were surreal. Ben and Hannah riding around the field in a convertible.  The two of them walking and wheeling through the procession of the Honor Guard with their swords held high and crossed.  Honestly, I don't remember who won.  I remember the dozens of people coming up to Ben before and after the ceremonies and throughout the game.  Hannah's hand gently rested on Ben's arm.  Hannah gave Ben a bandana embroidered with Homecoming 2005.  He still wears it.  We took many pictures and one still stands in a small frame on Ben's dresser;

I started this post about the reunion so I got side tracked.  Next post will pick up where this one started, if that makes sense.



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